shardsofwonder

Beloved of the Goddess, He loves her each in turn
from Samhain's wise foretelling to Beltane fire's burn
Maiden, Crone, and Mother, each within their sphere
She is born in many faces, but each he has held dear

Back at this tale's beginning, before the thorny maze
The Crone was but a woman, and lived her mortal days
As mother to his infants, he husband to her wife.
Together they shared a love mostly free from strife

 
But a far greater purpose is destined for the Crone 
Only in pain and anguish can herself be known
Unwilling though may be, he led her through the thorn
And there in utter turmoil, her prophecy was born

For a time he lingered there, bereft of the souls touch
Of the Goddess whose favor has graced his life so much
Blood is shed upon the sand and tempered steel is twirled
Sharing in her transformation before returning to the world

Then once the trials are over, the Mother is there to hold,
To share his righteous anger; it is she who makes him bold.
She is not for him to marry, what is wild should be not bound
But within her warm embrace his second nature can be found

The Mother, she needs no husband, but an equal love and mate
And to defend and serve the helpless will now always be his fate
As one in honor, strength, and courage; they the alpha pair
He shares with her the protection of the young within their care

They are sworn steadfast and loyal, but she can never be his bride
For it is to her younger self that he must needs be tied
Two out of three is not enough, to bind him to the whole
And to be consort to the Goddess three is his fated role

So then Maiden comes to him, frozen with trembling dread
Understandably wary of this man she is to wed
Pledges and oaths have been forged, to tie the unwilling pair
But a dedication to their duty is the one thing that they share.

A year of grief and tribulation blossoms into spring
And two hearts at odds does the Goddess together bring
Summer into Autumn, as do the seasons turn
Love and care for each other they are now to learn.

Finally, after a wait of four hours that feels like four days… the hedge stirs. And the Reavers come against us… thousands strong… the walls of this old castle manned by a few hundred, at most.

There is always a moment, right before battle is joined, where you wonder. Wonder if the information you got was good, if the plans you made were enough, if there was some contingency you missed or if…

…what I like to do in that moment is to tell my brain to shut the hell up, wing a prayer to Brighid, and loosen my swords in their scabbards.

Axes flash, broadsword swing,
Shining armour's piercing ring
Horses run with polished shield,
Fight Those Bastards till They Yield
Midnight mare and blood red roan,
Fight to Keep this Land Your Own
Sound the horn and call the cry,
How Many of Them Can We Make Die!

Battle is joined quickly, the archers and snipers laying cover fire…ordinance flying over our heads from the siege engines in the courtyard to explode naphtha and Greek fire all over the field. No siege engines on their side to come against the walls, that is a blessing, and as much as I dislike Jack I could kiss him for the airship raid which removed them from play.

Still, we are hard pressed to hold the walls… the sheer numbers against us make the prospect of holding the Dun long enough a dicey proposition. That nice young man, Arthur, turns to his contracts with fire, and everyone follows suit…even Gaius is standing there rolling boulders around on the field and Bandy is doing something with the river. I can’t deny that the use of elements isn’t devastatingly effective, but from where I am standing it is all I can do to keep the stray elemental flotsam and jetsam being thrown at us in retaliation from knocking me on my ass while I shout encouragement. I spare a thought for my own tie to fire, and promise myself that I will increase it when I don’t have shards of hail flying at my head. I feel bloody useless now, but I do manage to kick a few enterprising, stone climbing reavers from the walls while everyone is occupied playing with the elements… and I can’t deny that a well placed shout of encouragement here and there seems to be helping my Brothers keep their moral up… especially when I put the force of my glamour behind it.

It seems that that trick I first noticed in Denver has gotten stronger. I don’t know what I did to gain this blessing, but I sure as hell will use it. If a little glamour and some encouragement will help those around me, well then I will happily run myself out of glamour and shout myself hoarse.

Follow orders as you're told,
Make Their Yellow Blood Run Cold
Fight until you die or drop,
A Force Like Ours is Hard to Stop
Close your mind to stress and pain,
Fight till You're No Longer Sane
Let not one damn cur pass by,
How Many of Them Can We Make Die!

There is a moment when they breach the gate, and we all scramble to prepare for a bloody onslaught. I am inches from throwing myself into the courtyard and standing between the rush and the healers in the halls beyond, when General Sokol manages to hold the breach just long enough for the gate to be repaired. Dear Sweet Fiery Bridget, I know you like forging those that are yours… but have a kindness for my poor heart… that was entirely too close.

We all dig in again, prepared to continue holding the Dun for as long as we must, when we see the Calvary’s first charge, and the mess it makes of the Reavers rear flank. The pressure against the walls lessens, just as we had planned, as the Reavers scurry to turn their lines to face the new threat riding hell bent for leather up their asses. I have just enough time to see Aoife slicing her way through their lines like a hot knife through butter… Dominic, Goddess bless him, straggling along in her wake trying to keep up, before Celest comes running down the lines, relaying the muster order, and I am off the walls and in the courtyard forming up lines with the rest of the infantry.


Guard your women and children well,
Send These Bastards Back to Hell
We'll teach them the ways of war,
They Won't Come Here Any More
Use your shield and use your head,
Fight till Every One is Dead
Raise the flag up to the sky,
How Many of Them Can We Make Die!

We are out the side postern gate almost before we have time to think, following in the bloody wake left by the linebreakers. I try to keep an eye on Stitches and the others with us, to make sure that we move and fight as one… cause Goddess knows the few hours of practice we all got with each other this morning does not a cohesive unit make….

And then it almost goes all to hell.

Fucking mercenary Reebs… everything was going more or less smoothly until I look ahead and see that they have split off from the rest of the heavy infantry to go officer hunting, leaving the other four to stand back to back and try not to get overwhelmed by the hordes of Reavers crashing against our lines. Gaius shouts and my Brothers and I form up, shields and swords forming an impenetrable barrier that the Reavers crash against over and over as we push forward. I have Gaius on my right and Caius on my left, Gwalchavad on Gaius’s other side and Erik just behind using his strength to toss Reavers around like rag dolls while Bandabras darts all over the place with well placed thrusts between our shields… It is bloody and difficult but finally we reach the beleaguered four and pull them into the core of our line as the infantry surges forward again, completing the trap.


Dawn has broke, the time has come,
Move Your Feet to a Marching Drum
We'll win the war and pay the toll,
We'll Fight as One in Heart and Soul
Midnight mare and blood red roan,
Fight to Keep this Land Your Own
Sound the horn and call the cry,
How Many of Them Can We Make Die!

There is a moment when you can feel the tide of battle turn, when you know you have won, despite the wounds and aches and the bloody business yet to do… And there is one thing you should never do during that moment…relax your guard.

Gaius has half turned, to shout an order back along the infantry… something about pressing forward… And out of the corner of my eye I see the flash of a blade.

I don’t even have time to think before I find myself between Gaius and the blow, stepping away from the protection of the phalanx and raising my blades to parry the strike diving full force for his back.

A moment’s break in concentration…that is all it took for our section of the line to be besieged again, and even as I parry the blow meant for my Sheildmate, there is another that breaks my guard…

 
Sound the horn and call the cry,
How Many of Them Can We Make Die...

Ever take a sword to the gut? It hurts…a lot. There is nothing but searing pain as my fingers go weak, and I drop my swords as I fall to my knees, seeing my own viscera spilled in the dirt before me. There is a terrible brightness from my left as I tumble over, and I see the Reaver standing over me pause as it seems the entire world pauses as well to take a gasping breath…. Or is that just me struggling for air as the world goes dim?

How Many of Them Can We Make Die...

There is supposed to be a moment, they say, when your life flashes before your eyes. Either they are wrong, or I have to be as contrary in death as I ever have been in life. As my heart thunders in my ears, not even loud enough to drown out the ragged roar I hear from Gaius, I see no scenes from my life, no grand montage. What does happen is I send a prayer of thanksgiving to my Goddess, that Gaius is still alive and fighting, that he still has Gwalchavad to protect him and Edria to love him. I am relieved that Celest is safe on the walls and I hope that she and her brother live long and happy lives. I see from the corner of my vision as my cheek rests on the bloody dirt that my large silent brother is ripping a Reaver in two in retaliation and I hope that this doesn’t hurt him too badly. I see my Shieldmate separating the head from the body of the Reaver that killed me, such a deep look of pained anger on his face that I wish to move if I could to comfort him…but I settle for sending a silent thought at him instead…

… I Love You, Cariadon …

But mostly I feel quiet and calm. It is a good death if my life is spent fighting for what is right, and in defense of those I love… And I am content as the world goes dark and fades away… confident that my Goddess has me well in hand.

How Many of Them Can We Make Die...

The waiting is always the worst part. Staring out over the walls, eat a little something, steal a few minutes sleep, and then stare out over the walls again, waiting for the inevitable.

The plans are set… And though they may be simple, they are good plans. For something like this, it doesn’t do to get too complicated… anything too complicated wouldn’t last longer than the first rush of the Reavers upon the walls.

I am not afraid… though some part of me knows that that is a lie, and there is autumn’s touch in the wary watching and the careful checking and rechecking of the infantry positions. But it does not rule me, instead I feel a sort of fierce readiness, and I wish that he Reavers would get here already so that I can show them the true wrath of summer stirring within my breast.

In the meantime though, I watch… I watch and I comfort, strangely enough. I had been surprised when my niece mentioned that it might be time to raise me within the order, But Brighid’s will in this seems to be clear. I find myself in quiet conversations with others, keeping spirits high and calm when the interminable waiting would drag them low… even those of my niece. A traditional priestess I may not be, but the warrior priestess role seems to be second nature to me.

It is strange, how clear I feel… how alive. I fit into this war like a hand into a tailored glove. Even the waiting feels comfortable, because it is part of the whole. I see the same in Gaius, a lightness and energy in his step that has been lacking these past few years, clarity of purpose that we share. It has been a very long time since I have felt this close to him, our thought and action one… The general and his second, the right and left hands, the focus and drive tempered by heart and passion… Shieldmates.

And any hesitation I may have felt, and sorrow or pain that this would be the last time we fight as one… gone. Melted away in the growing light of dawn on the day of battle as we sat our vigil on the walls, neither of us able to sleep. I forget what was said exactly… Very few words were said, but they are more than enough, I only need to know one thing… he still wishes to be my shieldmate. We just may need to re-word the oath some.

So despite the waiting… the interminable, endless waiting… I am happier than I have been in a very long time… clearer and more content. Sitting on the walls with my family and comrades… Singing and telling stories to keep our spirits up… I feel nothing but love for those here… my neice’s husband, my shieldmate’s wife, my child by blood and the cubs I’ve adopted, my bondsman who already has become my brother, my brother who I love as much as I am able…even if it’s not exactly what he wishes from me… and all the others here on the walls and out in the hedge… the entire alliance.

The Reavers will come... and when they do we will stand strong, together… and Bright Fiery Bloody Brighid will smile.

It is a challenge of emotion and manipulation, she says, tempting him with baited words. In my mind I beg for her to be careful, because even I can hear the trap in her voice as she speaks, her hesitation to say exactly what the challenge is. He is about to break negotiations and leave with his prisoners. Out of the corner of my vision I can see the fall of his black hair spill over his shoulder as he leans forward, preparing to stand.

“I had thought that you would not be afraid to enter into such a challenge with one such as me” She taunts softly. He stills, leaning back in his hedge throne, the thorns creaking softly under the strong sudden grip of his fingers. “You have picked up bad habits since you have left home” He speaks, the smooth tones of his voice angry with nettled pride.

“Do you accept?”

“Who will be our subject”

She barely even pauses, “Kalen”

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck! I think, Mantle blazing as I hold myself stiffly still. I have heard the stories; I know what this Gentry is capable of when it comes to manipulating emotions… And I pray again that my niece knows what she is doing.

“This woman?” He comments, obviously thinking the same as me and confident in his ability to sway my emotions. “Done, I accept your challenge.”

She turns to me, eyes blazing with unshed tears as her voice rings across the clearing.

“Love” She commands me “Feel Love, as truly as you can, with all the fire and passion you have in your soul.”

Her words hang between us, and I blink, a slow smile starting to tug at my mouth as I realize what she means  “That is easy, my Queen,” is my only response as I lean down to kiss her cheek, allowing my love of her to tinge my voice... my pride in her cleverness. I do love her, truly, I can feel it swelling in my breast as I straighten, crossing my arms again with a slight smirk.

“Do that” She demands of her former lord, knowing he cannot. “Make her feel True Love”

The hedge darkens and shakes with his anger and I hold my breath. But she is right. Love, true human love, is not something he understands. He can manipulate my emotions, enslave my mind, and make me think I am in love… but he cannot make me Love him, not truly.

After a few long moments it is obvious to me that my mind and heart is still my own, and I cannot help smiling as I say “I apologize my Lord, You cannot possibly make me love you any more truly than I love my Queen and my niece.”

The hedge continues to shake. “This one already loves another” He snaps at Edria, playing semantics and seeking to wound her by his allusion to her husband.

“She loved him long before this challenge” She replies calmly, turning aside his poor attempt.

“And my capacity for love is endless, your ability to inspire it is not” I add, perhaps unnecessarily, but it is true. My love for Gaius does not keep me from loving anyone else. Most especially not my niece whom he also loves.

The hedge creaks and groans all around us, manifesting his anger, but he is bound by his word and the terms he accepted. He cannot harm us.

“I told you I had much to teach you.” She says to him, before he threatens to move against Tampa or Gainesville, empty threats as our allies are protected as well.

Finally he concedes, swinging up to his horse and galloping away with his men.

Edria faints.

I move instantly into action, Telling Ryver to grab Arioch and the elemental even as I scoop her up in my arms. “Door!” I call back to the walls, and as Ryver and I pelt back to the safety of the hollow with our precious burdens the postern gate is opened and then barred behind us by Holly.

Within moments the freehold has banded together to heal the two that have been rescued, and I have Edria ensconced on a couch, cradled against my chest as she wakes.

And then there is laughing and hugging and the exuberant celebration which can only happen as you realize that you have faced the inevitable and lived to tell the tale. A tale Ryver is telling with relish, naming us ‘Edria the Wise’ and ‘Kalen the Brave’ to the hold as Gaius returns. He pushes through the crowd to sit with us, and he and I hold her between us as small flowers begin to bloom to life in her hair. He calls us stupid and foolhardy, laughing, and his love for us both is evident in the shining of his eyes.

"What was is brought you back from Arcadia?" Brandabras had asked me, counseling me on my lost connection to the world. I had said my daughter, but that was only partially true. It was love... A mother's love for a child.

A Love I feel for the woman in my arms, the daughter of my brother. Love is what brought me back, and in this moment, as Gaius and I hold her and laugh, I feel that warm calm center I have been missing for so many months... my love for him, my love for her, for my children recently found, for my brave summer court younglings and the friends and allies surrounding us...

And I wing a prayer to the Goddess, letting her know that I see her plan in the heartbreak and anguish of the last months and years, the trials and frustrations. I understand...

...and Love.
 

She will not give him any advantage it is in her power to deny him. Her contracts coming to her aid and making her as beautiful as him, raising a throne of vines so she can sit regally opposite the throne of hedge thorns he has formed for himself.

I stand at the ready at her left shoulder, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the ground before me. I know better than to look directly at him, my grip on reality taxed more than enough by being this close, hearing the tones of his voice.

He offers to parlay for the return of the two that wandered too deep. He wants to know who else we will offer in exchange. She offers him a challenge instead. If she wins, he will return the two he has caught. And more, he will leave this freehold, its members, and their allies and their families…alone. For now and forever. He will not act against them, directly or indirectly, through physical force or manipulation… no taking, no games, nothing.

It is a steep price, he says. And wants to know what she will offer if he should win.

“Me” She replies quietly

My nails dig into my arm as I unconsciously tense. I had feared she would try something like this, the lost look on her face and the calm resoluteness as she left the protection of the hold. But I hold myself still, I do not even growl. The only indication of my thoughts is my Mantle, blazing as bright and strong as Summer heat is capable of. Goddess, I hope and pray she knows what she is doing.

“Not enough” is his reply, making offer and counter offer. Challenge or not it appears he will take Ugati in exchange for the two, and he calls to the walls for him to come out and join us. I hear the scuffle and disturbance behind us, but he does not come out. I thank the Goddess that Holly has the hold well in hand.

“You, alone, are not enough in exchange for so steep a price” he says again, turning back to the offer of Challenge. “I have much to teach you, much I have learned since I have left” She says, bating him. It is still not enough.

There is something tickling the back of my mind, some repressed memory or knowledge trying to surface. I am not sure how I know, but I know there is one other in this hold he might be interested in having. I lean down and whisper in her ear “Offer me” at the exact same moment he says “I will take her.”

I straighten in confusion, and Edria looks over to me with a look that almost doesn’t dare. “Are you sure?” She asks me in Welsh.

I turn and look into her eyes, bolstered by my calm resolution and rage. “I am not letting you do that alone.” I respond back in the language of our family. Saying so much more with that statement… I trust you... and I will defend you, even into arcadia itself… I swear I will not let you face that alone… and if the worst happens… I will take your life before taking mine. Do not fear loosing yourself to that with me here. Never again, I swear.

He lays the claim again, and in all formality she asks. “As my Queen wills” is my formal agreement.

“Very well,” she replies to him “If I loose, you shall have the both of us.”

And the negotiations continue…

All I can do is sit with her, along with half the freehold. I know why her face is pale and the flowers wilt and fall from her hair, they do not. But even without knowing the cause, the freehold is here, sitting with her, the young ones in puppy piles at her feet as hands reach to touch and comfort.

There are things that need doing, for sure, But nothing that needs all of us. I am not fast enough to have followed the elemental into the hedge, and Gaius doesn’t need my help closing the hedge doors found on campus. Without even thinking about it I have decided to stay here, touching and comforting with the rest of the freehold.

It is no sacrifice, I don’t know why Gaius keeps forgetting that our oath means that I will care for and guard what he holds dear as I would care for and guard him. Even If I would stay by her side right now even without the oath…. Because I love my cub of a niece too and it hurts to see her like this.

The sound of hoof beats makes me raise my head, ears twitching at the sound. Within moments I am at the top of the wall, looking out of the freehold hollow to the trod beyond to see horses, goblins, and the Lord of Sable and Aster riding behind.

“SUMMER COURT TO THE WALLS” I call, immediately taking charge in Gaius’s absence. The freehold boils like a kicked anthill, positions along the parapets manned as the gates are barred. Edria rises from her seat and calmly climbs the steps to stand by my side over the gate, her look one of inevitability. It scares me.

“My Lord wishes to Parley” is the words of the goblin who rides up to the gates with a white flag flying from the standard which bears his lords colors. Sable and Aster hangs behind with his troops, the unconscious arrow-filled bodies of Arioch and the elemental he chased into the Brim draped over the horse he leads.

My Queen agrees, and an open sided tent is pitched before the gates. My mantle flares as I assess risk and danger. “You are not going without an honor guard, My Lady” I say to her in a tone which broaches no argument.

She looks at me with those tired eyes, flowers wilting in her hair, and I see the look of one who does not expect to come back. But she nods. “Two”

I arrange things quickly, Holly will remain behind to guard the hold and lead the summer court should this go as spectacularly wrong as it has every potential too. Ryver and I will Guard the Queen. We flank her, left and right, as we exit the postern gate and stride forward to speak with a Gentry.

In case anyone was wondering, it is NEVER a good idea to watch Pan's Labrynth in character. From a changling's mindset the movie, which is already dark, is damn near a suspense/horror film.

Oi.

Too drunk to get on her bike and drive back Tampa…and too drunk to risk entering the hedge so she could get home that way.

Preliminary sheet, Goodness knows I need more merits and skills...but I need more xp too for that matter...
By all means offer suggestions...

1969- Hitchhikes to Woodstock at 16 with a group of friends, gets grounded

1970- Attends Radcliff College for women

1974- Meets and begins dating Philip Weston who attends Harvard Law.

1976- Finally Graduates after 6 yrs. Took longer because she goofed of and spent a great deal of time involved in hippie movment, pagan ties, and switching majors several times.

1976- Edria/Eden born to sister/brother/cousin?

1977- Settles down and marries Philip.

1978- Daughter Celia is born.

1980- Taken

1986- Returns, kills daughter’s fetch. Joanne’s fetch is blamed, found guilty and incarcerated in mental institution.

1986- 1990-  “lost years” Have no idea what to do with this time, probably spent it angry, confused, and wandering

1990- Moves to FL, joins summer court

1992- Rescues Herbert Bloodroot from the hedge

1995- Helps point Gaius and group the correct way out of the hedge.

1997- Joins up with newly-formed Praesidium

2000- Start on-again-off-again fling with Gaius, lasts till his betrothal in 2007

2000-ish.- Helps drive goblins out of Tampa freehold, settles there. Forms Motley with Wayland Smyth, Herbert Bloodroot, and (Andrew’s Character)

2000-present- Rescue Josh, Kris, & Rene’s characters from hedge, Form ties with Jandori to pass on rescued changelings for help in mortal world. Possibly join Order of the Isle as well in 2007.